Women are better!
Authors and editors often depict characters with whom they personally disagree -- how else would we get biographies of Manson or Goebbels? In my case, this statement (Stepping Off, 26AUG94) does align perfectly with my belief:
“As I said, women don’t do these things. Even ones who never let their husband get on top. People think I’m sexist for thinking women are different. Women are better!”
When you hear about someone dying while teasing bison, jousting with forklifts, or peeing on downed power lines, do you really need to ask? Of course it was a guy. Guys must do 50 stupid things for every one done by women. Is it any surprise that few women join the Marines, and fewer have any interest in the infantry? Gary at Parris Island:
"Sociology professors desire that the Marine Corps be 50% women. My DIs desire that the Marine Corps be 0% women. To the consternation of both, the Corps has remained 5% female for decades."
Still, I wish that people would admit that there are things men are better at:
If you want compassion, decency, kindness, and sympathy, call a woman. If you want to win a ground war, call this guy.
The wisest voice in Stepping Off belongs to Eileen's mother, who has no problem differentiating between the sexes:
“As I said, women don’t do these things. Even ones who never let their husband get on top. People think I’m sexist for thinking women are different. Women are better!”
When you hear about someone dying while teasing bison, jousting with forklifts, or peeing on downed power lines, do you really need to ask? Of course it was a guy. Guys must do 50 stupid things for every one done by women. Is it any surprise that few women join the Marines, and fewer have any interest in the infantry? Gary at Parris Island:
"Sociology professors desire that the Marine Corps be 50% women. My DIs desire that the Marine Corps be 0% women. To the consternation of both, the Corps has remained 5% female for decades."
Still, I wish that people would admit that there are things men are better at:
If you want compassion, decency, kindness, and sympathy, call a woman. If you want to win a ground war, call this guy.
The wisest voice in Stepping Off belongs to Eileen's mother, who has no problem differentiating between the sexes:
“Man moose says, ‘Woman’s pee tasty, time to mate.’ Woman moose says, ‘Big antlers, handsome, beats
up sissies, time to mate.’ Woman
attracted to mate, yes, but also proud
of mate for chasing off pestering girly bulls. Father handsome, that part easy.
Ready to marry, but must test him, must be proud. Early spring, ice melting,
drop wristwatch from bridge onto ice sheet in river
of poop. City filthy then. Ice moving, Father must think fast, dives headfirst. Feet would sink watch, yes?
Father catches watch, crashes through ice, swims to shore. I very proud. We marry.”
“You made Father dive into thawing human excrement! What if
he’d drowned?”
“Bad for you, but find new
man, man without iron brain. Only
bonehead dives if he can’t swim. Only
fool trades life for broken watch. Father
smart, Father swims well. We marry.”
“I hope you kissed him!”
“No! Flesh trembling,
head bleeding, clothes dripping frosty poop. And never kiss on first date. But happy ending, happier than
moose. Soon, woman moose thinks only of growing calf;
man moose finds new woman with tasty pee.”
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